[[fireshamie]] simple innocence of the heart, mind & soul..

Bonnie & Clyde
.29th March.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Sometimes..I wish I'm just alone..But as a human, I can't be alone..Cuz it's in the DNA of humans to need companians, to need friends, to need family around, for moral support, and many more..

I'm glad for the companionship of my family and friends..But sometimes..It's just too overwhelming..

Having different cliques of friends are great..Cuz different cliques share different interests as me..Unfortunately, a person like me have many different interests..And mostly, out of chance, I met different those different cliques of friends due to my wide variety of interests (now, isn't that a normal thing though?)..Unfortunately..Having a few different cliques of friends means having to choose when the need arises..Now that is the thing that is overwhelming me..This problem not a sudden onset, more of that this has been going on for as long as I can remember..

Now, you see..Let's say, Clique A have an Outing A on Day 31st..And either I am one of the originators of the plan (which means I was there when they or myself came up with the idea) or they asked me out by which then I agreed to go to that outing..SO, now, for Day 31st, I already have a plan..

Then another clique of friends, Clique B, asked me for an Outing B ON THE SAME DAY, which is Day 31st..So, ALREADY having an Outing A (or rather, more like one of the ORIGINATORS of the Outing A), do you think I should just be an ass and cancel out on Clique A to join Clique B? Of course not, right..

SO..Since I couldn't jolly well cancel my plans with Clique A, I HAD to say sorry to Clique B..UNFORTUNATELY..Clique B is NOT happy with me..How do I know? Well, there is no need to hear the tone used, nor there is a need for angry words or unpleasantries to be used for me to know..Words used, mixed with a personality which I know well of Clique B, is good enough..

I wanted to be angry..But unfortunately, I ran out of steam..Cuz this kinda thing happens WAYYY to frequently..And I'm tired of it all..Really..

I can't please everyone..And I won't try to..Starting from now onwards..Cuz people gets angry or pissed off when I told them I have other plans PRIOR to when they asked me..

OR there are times, when I had already made prior (or even unconfirmed) plans with let's say, Clique Q, and Clique N asked me out..AND, it's been donkey YEARS since I've last been with Clique N and gone out with them, and I had gone out with Clique Q very very very very frequently and that the prior (or even unconfirmed) plans with Clique Q is the SAME thing I had been doing with Clique Q..SO..Tell me..Which clique would YOU choose? Q or N? ps, note & read..prior or even unconfirmed plans which you regularly do against friends you haven't met in donkey years..ME? It DEPENDS on situations..But comparing this to a similar situation I had some time ago, I'd choose to go with Clique N..Would you, as Clique Q, understand after I told why I am not coming for the outing with Clique Q?? Again, comparing to the same situation I had some time ago, (let's assume) Clique Q did NOT understand..

Why can't people just understand? Haix :(

Along with those..Having other things on my mind doesn't help..

You know what..Sometimes..I think that people who don't experience what worser problems others are facing DON'T understand (I think its more of don't TRY to understand) what those others are going through, and thus, are not able to symphathise with those others..

And on the other hand, most people who are going through a tougher or have gone through a tougher time then most people, think that they are just so frigging more experienced (ok, so they do, in a sense and in a field or two) then the rest and that they would not listen to those who are not as experienced BUT yet are still doing their best to symphatise or trying their best to RELATE to the "more experienced" people's problems and just brush off those "less experienced" words of symphthy or words of assurance as say "YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND"..EGO MUCH??

HAIX..Why do I even bother to think about such things? Trying to change these things are akin to that of smokers trying to quit..Which is, rate of success, almost zero? READ: THere are smokers who DO quit for life and I know some people who have quitted for life..

[[ ßǒŃńįè MǻЯΐä ŔōŜě ]]
contemplating the meaning @ 11:44 AM

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