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Bonnie & Clyde
.29th March.  
Monday, February 4, 2008 They say the first cut is the deepest. I hadn't known how true this is. Now I do. I guess I have to understand as well, how it feels like when you get cut for the first time. This is not easy for me, to swallow the truth. But this is the fact that I have to swallow. It's very tough on me, but as day goes by, it gets easier. It feels like a daily chore that I have to get through to doing. It feels very much of an inner battle for me, more then anyone could understand, more then anyone could fathom why I'm making myself to go through this. I tried to run away from it, to bury it, to hate it, to burn it. Still, it came back. I don't choose it. It choose me. Lame? Yeah. But it doesn't matter. It's the truth. It's my truth. The cut might be too deep for you. But the cut is deeper for me, cuz the first cut always hurts the most. You ought to know that. Cuz I had told you the truth. But now I don't know, if you still cared. I do know, that you don't really care, like how you ever cared once. And I do know, that though the cut might be too deep for you, you heal faster cuz it aint the first cut for you. That made me feel..Worser?? Gah..I thought I'm OK. But I guess, my heart is not yet that through with all these. I will continue to try though, and do my darnest. To heal the deepest cut that will follow me till the end of my time. It is healing, but much way too slowly for my fancy. I wish there's ways I could speed up the process, cuz I would so love to forget everything just like that. But I know, there's no short cut to a clean recovery. I guess this is neccessary for the cut to heal cleanly. Leaving only the scar of the past, and no blood to taint the future. Previous lessons had taught me that much. And I'm learning new lessons of life daily. Moving on.... Moving on..... I wish there's nothing that could remind me of the past I wish to forget.... To my friends who knows: I really am trying my best. Thanks for your guidance, support and love. I really appreciate it, from the bottom of my swollen heart..==)) [[ ßǒŃńįè MǻЯΐä ŔōŜě ]] contemplating the meaning @ 2:20 PM
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forever i am, fireshamie. **ChiLLaX & EnjOY ** An Idealistic Idealist. What is yours? A Spontaneous Idealist. A Leo Woman. An ENFP "Journalist". These people love novelty and surprises. They are big on emotions and expression. Life is an exciting drama.  LiVin mA dReAms & EnjoYing mA LiFe.. Luv mA Family. Treasure FrIenDsHiPs lots&lotss.. ** LURVE cLyDiE bEby DaRLing BikiE~~!!! ^-^  ** PASSIONS~~ MUSIC & RIDING BIKES ** INTERESTS~~ MANY Many many..... .: Heartful Desires :. ** maintain ma baby speed devil ^-^ ** achieve all my dreams.. ** gotta be somebody..^-^ ** love, passion, happiness and freedom.. ** stuff that are not of the physical nature.. ** Class 2A License ** Class 3 License ** Arai Astro Light Fullface Helmet ** Lady's Riding Jacket ** Lady's Riding Boots ** Riding Up North ** New Wallet ** New Handphone ** Lappy ** The Sim 3 :D ** .: Whispers of the Mind... :. .: Rhythm of the Soul :. .: Cherished Ones :. Disclaimer: Read & interpret at your own will, & I'm not held responsible on how you choose to view my posts. =) Blog alive since April'04. |
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