[[fireshamie]] simple innocence of the heart, mind & soul..

Bonnie & Clyde
.29th March.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

haiz..i dun understand why i can be so freaking fickle at times..it doesn't have to be about guys..it can be about anything..one second i'm thinking about something so and so, the next, it's a 180 degree turn of thoughts..aiyo! sungguh melecey kan aku pey otak la..

haiz..ok..enough of my nonsense..

whee! yesterday was my road prac..it was fantabulous! ahaks..mainly my mind was not concentrating though..maybe cuz of the load at work..it was busier then it was the day before..and also someone had made me particularly worried the day before..**hrumph**..guess all that combined plus my medication makes my brain a little off..not psychotic though..haiz..but at least i had enjoyed my ride..hehe..**grinz**..

i was the only girl, the rest of the convoy (as the instructor had put it) is 5 other guys and the 2 instructors..one of the instructors was really funny..he cracked jokes and stuff and kept the session light and i guess that made most of us feel less nervous..lol..anyway..they brough us around..i cant really remember the route though..lol..cuz my mind was busy with other things..ahaks..i was mainly just following i guess..haiz..at least now i have a rough idea of the road condition outside, even though we only took the light traffic route..hehe..tomorrow's my another prac..wish me luck..

hmm..back to my fickle-mindedness..ahhh..see..now i'm having a 180 turn thoughts about what i was about to blog just now..**hrumph** haiz..

actually i'm just full of doubt..just lots and lots of it..on my part and on another's..for me, i'm a fickle minded individual..for another..i dunno..maybe i'm just fearful that things that happens to some of my friends will happen to me..haiz..for another thing of me, is that, i. am. just. reaallyyy fickle-minded..

it's not really me totally, it's the situation the people and the mood that changes my thoughts of these things..

like, yesterday i get to meet another close buddy of his..and i was like this guy is cute..another part of me is like going, whatt?? the side of me that was like "tis guy is cute" then goes like, uh..it's like an interaction of two sides of me..or something..aish..i can never fully explain fully what my mind is thinking..

then another situation like yesterday's that happened yesterday..one of the guys in my prac looks familiar (he's cute by the way..his build is not that bad too..**grinz** ..erkk...OoPS 0.o..c what i mean..haiz..)..he looks like one guy i knew back during my poly days..REALLY..i was not kidding..so i just came up to him and asked him if he was frm my previous poly..IT WAS NOT A PICK UP LINE..I WAS NOT FLIRTING OR ANYTHING..i was just merely being friendly..but he told me no he isn't and that he saw me when we were applying for our PDLs..and in my mind i was like, "ahhh...so that was where i've seen him..no wonder i thought i have seen him before..but he really does look like that one guy i knew back in poly days.." so then naturally during the lesson we talked and stuff..oh well..we took another lesson again..tommorow..*OoPS*..but let me assure u that we were not at all flirting during the lesson..we were all KAU AKU & i was talking in my (what some people have said) 'mina-rep'-ish talk..BUT i am not a mina-rep..i just talk like one..hmm...but he's really cute..and..um..handsome..and.....haiz..i mean, to be frank, that's what i thought la..haiz..***sham, can u just stop this nonsense..aiyo***

i just feel so guilty la..then after the prac i went and meet up with him..i just feel so bloody guilty i guess, now that i thought about it..i guess i was feeling guilty that i had been abit um...i dunno..i wasn't being unfaithful was i??? it's not as if we are together yet or something..i so didn't do anything wrong did i? oh well..ok, one thing come back to me..one thing he said..he told me that he dun even care if i was hanging out with other guys..my take is that he don't mind at all..ahhh..so why was i feeling guilty now? i didn't do anything wrong..it's just that it's better to have someone you know during your pracs and get a good friend out of him/her or something..hehe..ok! guilty-concience cleared!ahaks..wheee.....and a little "he's cute" doesnt hurt as well..it's not as if it'd make much difference..ok..the the guilty-concience part? maybe not so cleared..**OoPS 0.o** ~~someone stranggle me..~~

ahhh..blogging..what a nice way to relieve your stress from your brain...=)

right now i'm blogging out of boredom..i woke up late..missed the bloody 8.15 bus..and if i took the bus after that bus i've missed, i'd be soo late..so i'm taking a half day leave..which leaves me at the area of jurong alone with nothing better to do then go to the library and blog..muahhahah..if i had known i'd be taking an 'emergency' leave, i'd just stay at home and do something useful..like getting more ZZzzzZZ..hehe..

i had been waiting for a bloody bus since 8.15..didnt get one till 8.45..so i just ciao..and the next one i'll take to cover my half day leave is 11.45..whoopie..so i was left with 2 and 45 mins of fun at 9am just now..lol..fun KEBABAI..

now my contact lens are giving me problems..i'm thinking of getting specs..haish..i will..soon..maybe sat or sun..just in tym for my 11th!! hehe..my god..i'll be turning 21 in less then 2 weeks!! my god..ahaks, most probably it won't feel like i've gained another year, but at least i'll be spending it with my loved ones..=)))..

okayy la..enuf of blogging..chaossss~~~

[[ ßǒŃńįè MǻЯΐä ŔōŜě ]]
contemplating the meaning @ 10:26 AM

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