|
Bonnie & Clyde
.29th March.  
Thursday, September 28, 2006 yea, shut up.."shut up sham"..i bet that's what most of my friends have been wanting to say to me when i talk so the bloody much.."so irritating"..usually i tried to shut up, but i kept on talking..but hey, not to worry guys..it seems like these few weeks, i have this amazing ability to keep mum..so yea..you all need not worry about me talking much anymore.. haiz..nowadays i feel like the only way i could release my supressed emotions, feelings and thoughts is through blogging..yep yep..i've been supressing alot of things lately..there's a cacophony load of reasons why so, and among which is that i don't feel like talking much.....well, unless i want to..and trust me, i can still talk.. **grinz** speaking of supressing..i seem to not let myself feel much nowadays..like: being too happy, or too up-high..and most of all, i don't seem to let myself feel love..maybe it's cuz i don't wanna get myself onto the deep trenches of unpleasant emotions..hmm, i think that's the most resonable explanation as for why..funny thing is, i seem let myself feel sad or angry or those feelings which is more of a negative aura.. but i do feel happy about one thing..riding.. :D ..even though i still pretty much suck and still need to so totally improve, i can't deny the joy riding a bike gives me to feel..it's a different experience when you pillion and when you ride..hee :) .. oh my..i think i have some kind of headache.. haiz..i cant wait for this job to be over..left like, a month left..but then, i wouldn't know what else i would be doing if i don't have anything to do.. when people ask me some questions, i could only just nod my head, or shake my head, or smile, or just mouth a simple yes or no answer..i doubt any of my friends, anyone really, really knows what goes on in my mind.. what little happy feelings i have left are spared for the moments i felt really, truely happy..which is rare..i feel like part of my heart has died, and i watches the world go by as my heart continues dying little by little..why? you might ask..my answer: i dunno..maybe the things people keep doing to me and the thoughts i keep thinking chips at my heart, so much so till my heart's have had enough.. ---------------- you know..some people are just damn insensitive to other peoples' feelings..they just say or do things without totally things about others..the only person they think about is themselves..i know quite a number of people who are like that..and most of them are close to me..one is my own flesh and bone.. the thing about these people is that they have so much of high regard of themselves that they alot of times forget that other people have feelings too..most of the time, they just want things to go their way..and when they don't get their way, they just have a way to get their way..and it's pretty irritating when people keep doing that to you..if it's one person, maybe one could have handled it..but when it comes from a few different people, it's like, oh my god.. i just hope these people will realise it one day..if you are curious, you might wanna know that the people i know who are like what i described above, some of them reads my blog at a more regular intervals then most..but only some..so few, can count finger on my left hand..but i hope they'll change one day.. ---------------- oh my, i'm very hungry..i'm excused from fasting today, as all women and girls will be during a certain time of the month..but you know what..i'd rather feel my stomach empty when i'm fasting during Ramadhan, rather than feel my stomach empty when i'm not fasting during Ramadhan..cuz the feeling is totally different for both situations.. ---------------- hmm..i also don't feel like socializing much these times..when i bump into some of my friends, i feel happy to see them, but i just don't feel like talking..then again, they are my friends..so i made an effort to at least ask them how they are or something..so i want to apologise to some people if i seem cold or abit off when you bump into me outside.. i just hope that this entry will explain certain things to some of my friends on the whys of my recent behaviour lately..cuz honestly, i don't really understand why this have to happen..but i take things in stride and just move along with the flow of things.. you know what..i feel loads and loads better.. :) ps: to my friends, don't mention about these things i blogged about today when you meet me ok..cuz i don't feel like talking about it..thanks.. ....dalam diam ku mencintai mu..... [[ ßǒŃńįè MǻЯΐä ŔōŜě ]] contemplating the meaning @ 12:15 PM
|
forever i am, fireshamie. **ChiLLaX & EnjOY ** An Idealistic Idealist. What is yours? A Spontaneous Idealist. A Leo Woman. An ENFP "Journalist". These people love novelty and surprises. They are big on emotions and expression. Life is an exciting drama.  LiVin mA dReAms & EnjoYing mA LiFe.. Luv mA Family. Treasure FrIenDsHiPs lots&lotss.. ** LURVE cLyDiE bEby DaRLing BikiE~~!!! ^-^  ** PASSIONS~~ MUSIC & RIDING BIKES ** INTERESTS~~ MANY Many many..... .: Heartful Desires :. ** maintain ma baby speed devil ^-^ ** achieve all my dreams.. ** gotta be somebody..^-^ ** love, passion, happiness and freedom.. ** stuff that are not of the physical nature.. ** Class 2A License ** Class 3 License ** Arai Astro Light Fullface Helmet ** Lady's Riding Jacket ** Lady's Riding Boots ** Riding Up North ** New Wallet ** New Handphone ** Lappy ** The Sim 3 :D ** .: Whispers of the Mind... :. .: Rhythm of the Soul :. .: Cherished Ones :. Disclaimer: Read & interpret at your own will, & I'm not held responsible on how you choose to view my posts. =) Blog alive since April'04. |
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home